Home
by Gothic Rogue
Summary: What really goes on in Rogues mind. Slight Remy/Rogue undertones. R/R please


Disclaimer: I wish I owned em', but I don't. So, there for I am not going to claim that I own this wonderful character, or the beautiful song.  
  
I guess this would be considered an AU. This is told from a very young Rogue's POV. I didn't want to confuse anybody, so, I decided to tell ya right off the bat. ^_~   
  
The song is Home by Sarah McLachlan, check it out sometime.  
  
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HOME  
  
\\Indicate memories// ((things that are going on while she is in the present))  
  
((As they sat outside on the Mansions luxurious grounds, Remy LeBeau couldn't help but stare at the woman he loved. She seemed so lost in thought, laying there in the grass peering off into nothing. He had often wondered what she thought about when she dazed out like that. He had known better than to ask though. Every time he did, she would always reply with a heartbreaking smile and an 'Everythin's fahn sugah, really.' He never believed her.  
  
What really went on in that pretty head of hers?))  
  
A child walks to the river  
And looks as far as she can see  
And draws each breath as if it were the last  
And wipes away the tears across her sleeve  
  
((Staring into the woods that ran along the perimeter of the estate, the young mutant known only as Rogue was sorting through her twisted memories. She didn't really want to think about them, but they always seemed to pop in and ruin things, even when she knew she should be having a good time))  
  
\\She didn't know how long she had been running, the tears that stung her eyes had blinded her. Tripping over a visible root, the young girl suddenly became aware of her surroundings. There before her, murmuring in the distance was a wide and flowing river. Wiping her tears away on her sleeve she walks over and looks down the winding bed.  
  
She heaved a heavy sigh as she looked into the murky waters. Her mind swam with questions as she stared at her reflection. 'Why does he hate meh so much? Why does he always hafta hurt meh?' She murmured these silent questions to herself.//  
  
She can see where the river crawls into the sea  
Like a baby into mother's care  
Somehow the longing is so far away  
The innocence so wasted and aware  
  
((All her life all she wanted was just one moment, one moment where everything would be o.k, and she could live normally. That would never happen though. She had been only nine years old, and was denied that luxury.))   
  
\\ The rain had been falling without rest all that day, she didn't want it to stop though, it seemed to fit her mood. It seemed as if the heavens were also mourning her loss.   
  
The little girl dressed in black stood by the darkened hole and watched as they lowered her mothers coffin into the ground. Letting the tears flow freely, she felt a squeeze on her shoulder. Pushing the nauseating feeling down into the pit of her stomach, she forced herself to look into her stepfather's eyes. They seemed sympathetic, but she knew better.   
  
Even after the funeral was over, her heartache would not end. A new fear had gripped her heart, and would for years after affect her//  
  
((Pushing her abnormal white bangs behind her ears, she looked up at the sky. 'Why momma? Why did ya hafta leave me?' she cried in her mind. She was barely aware when the tears started streaming down her face.))  
  
Look at the child with the dream in her eyes  
Holding it deep inside   
Home... Home...  
  
\\Was it so much to ask, to come home, knowing that you were going to be o.k, knowing that you were going to be loved? It seemed in her short life that it was in fact an impossible dream. It would never be like that, her stepfather made sure of it. Her days at home were filled with nothing but terror and fearfulness.  
  
Taking her hand, she ran it over the bruise that was now forming over her arm. Sometimes she wished he would just kill her and get it over with. Life didn't seem that important to live anymore, she could barely remember a time that it was.//  
  
((She could still remember where every bruise had been, where every cut had healed. Even though she never had to see the scars on her skin anymore, she could still feel them, and remember.))  
  
So much anger, so deeply ingrained  
Seamed a burden that was hers alone  
She didn't think there was anything wrong  
With wanting a life to call her own  
  
((Two days after the funeral, that's all he had waited before he started his drinking again))  
  
\\She could hear him storming through the house, she pulled herself into a ball and waited to her him crash into her room. She didn't have to wait long though, and he was right beside her.  
  
"What did ah tell you bout' hidin' from meh!?" The little girl trembled and shook as he rang the blows down upon her back. She tried to fight away from him, but every time she did, it seemed to anger him more. Giving in to the beatings, she lay still on the floor and allowed him to take his fury out on her.//   
  
How could I explain?  
You wouldn't want to hear  
You wouldn't listen if I talked anyway   
For you were too weighed down by your own fears  
  
((Looking over at Remy, she studied his features. He had always had an understanding look on his face, but he could never know what she had gone through. To tell him would mean the receiving of pity, and she had enough of that to last her four life times. All the same, he was worried for her, and she knew it.   
  
'Mebe he would undastand' she thought to herself.))  
  
\\Looking out upon the waters on last time, the child started to make her way 'home' again.//  
  
((She would visit this river many times again before she finally ran away. Whenever things just got too much and she felt like giving up, she would come and find comfort in the murky waters. It was a sort of comfort for her, a way to keep her grounded. It had been her only friend.  
  
Sometimes she wished she could go back and sit by it's banks on last time, but she never would, she knew that.))  
  
Look at the child with the dream in her eyes  
Holding it deep inside  
Home... Home... Home... Home...   
  
((Giving one last glance at her Cajun charmer, she finally decided it was time.  
  
"Remy, can I talk ta ya?"))  
  
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Well, there it is. I wanted to add more Remy, but I wanted it to be mostly a Rogue story. Next time I write, I think I'm going to do a serious fic from Remy's POV. Till then though, laterz! ^_~  
  
*hint-hint* DON'T FORGET TO CLICK THAT LITTLE BLUE BUTTON THOUGH! *hint-hint* 


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